I remember being pregnancy for the first time and announcing to everyone right away. A mom of 2 said to me, “Just Wait Until the morning sickness comes, then the constipation, then the waddling.”
I remember having my sweet firstborn looking at me, the center of her universe, and a stranger standing by saying, “Just Wait Until she’s teething and keeps you up all night!”
I remember having my children 19 months apart and a friend saying, “Just Wait Until they’re fighting over every toy in the room.”
I remember having three children under 4 and going through the grocery store. A woman shook her head and laughingly said, “Just Wait Until they’re teenagers! They’ll eat you out of house and home.”
I remember playing with my four children at the park and a mom saying, “Just Wait Until they all want cell phones and cars!”
I remember having five children and getting a bear hug from one of my sons while a passer-by at the Farmers Market said, “Just Wait Until he breaks your heart bringing home a girl!”
Friends, a life lived in the Present Joy of TODAY is not filled with “Just Wait Untils”
At every stage of my mothering journey, I have been confronted with this strange language around the passage of time with my children that is filled with negativity. It has always baffled me - why does everyone think things get worse? Why is that the assumption? You know how when you’re not pregnant no one dares reach out and rub your belly but as soon as you are noticeably growing another human, strangers feel free to caress the sacredness of your womb? There is great beauty in that - something intuitive to human nature to be noted, but not the subject of today. However, the comparison lies in the freedom people feel comment or (or diminish) the stage you are in by comparing it to their current failures or mistakes. By doing so, it offers them a momentary salve, “Ahhh, the good old days when my child was perfect…..before they teethed or ate a lot or talked back or stared at a phone or became the dreaded teenagers”.
This is a lie because it steals the joy intended for today.
I pray that I might always hold space for the stage each of us is in - the beauty, the struggle, the difficulty, the joy - today is the day that the Lord has made, let us REJOICE and be glad in it! Of course, this hope is grounded in positivity for tomorrow, or else why would I put the work in today?
This belief is rooted in the truth that we are given the children we need to make us better humans No mistakes, no just wait untils - the struggles we have with our children today are present so that we can look our demons in the eye and be faithful to fight them for ourselves and for our children. They are real (even if it is “just” teething) and they are hard - but the results are so so beautiful.
I love mothering today more than yesterday. This year more than years before. I choose to embrace the struggle so that I can achieve the beauty IN the struggle.
In life, we rarely discover the Divine when we are comfortable.
So, next time someone tries to dampen your joy by a “Just Wait Until”, look at them and say, “I can’t wait.” If you find yourself starting to use these words with another mom, catch yourself and say something positive. Choose JOY, friends, and you will not be disappointed.
Post below your positive “Just Wait Until”
